I'm not a strict believer of the rule of thirds, and I don't think it applies to this particular image. Here's my shot:
I did the following in photoshop:
-adjust brightness/shadows (in Edit > adjustments)
-vignette (filters > distort > lens correction)
-levels (clipped blacks and whites)
-curves (contrast with luminance)
-vibrance
-USM 0.3px 300%
-resize bicubic sharper
-USM 25px 10%
Edit: sorry, I didn't read your whole post. you want it to be less harsh? the original didn't seem too harsh to me, so I ramped up the detail everywhere I could look
Sorry, but what in the image do you find too harsh? Are you talking about an overexposed face/shirt? If that is the case, then I guess i solved that with brightness/shadows adjustment and darkened the face and shirt.