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Thread: This one is for mini-Chris

  1. #1
    ucci's Avatar
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    This one is for mini-Chris

    Hey Chris
    Was working on some old photos for the historical society the other day and noticed in one if them what I thought was an old soft drink can, discarded in the gutter. But no, on closer inspection........

    This one is for mini-Chris

  2. #2
    rob marshall

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Quote Originally Posted by ucci View Post
    Hey Chris
    Was working on some old photos for the historical society the other day and noticed in one if them what I thought was an old soft drink can, discarded in the gutter. But no, on closer inspection........

    This one is for mini-Chris
    As a previous owner of the old style mini, I can tell you that that statement is incorrect. It should, of course, read

    "an old rusty soft drink can"

    We Brits have a fine engineering history. In fact our motto is "In rust we trust" Mind you, Fords aren't much better...

  3. #3
    ucci's Avatar
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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Quote Originally Posted by rob marshall View Post
    As a previous owner of the old style mini, I can tell you that that statement is incorrect. It should, of course, read

    "an old rusty soft drink can"

    We Brits have a fine engineering history. In fact our motto is "In rust we trust" Mind you, Fords aren't much better...
    Thank you for helping me to get it right. I have to confess that in my car owning log I have had 2 minis quite some years ago. One of them was a van the other was a clubman. Okay, so, some of us are slow learners!

  4. #4

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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Oooh, you've hit a bit of a raw nerve, now...

    I've had my (as Rob would put it, "BMW knockoff") Mini for 7 years and 93,000 miles. There is not one spec of rust anywhere on it, including under the trim pieces and the rubber moldings. It still gets 30mpg on the highway, 23 in town and will do 0-60 in 5.6 seconds with a top speed (well, as fast as I've had it) of 130 mph (not kilometers) effortlessly.

    I've owned six all British automobiles and all of them tried to rust out from beneath me, with the Minis holding up the longest, the Sprites and MG's the least time. For a country forever steeped in soggy, melting rain, you'd of thought they could have gotten undercoating down to a science without the overly arrogant German engineers having to show them how...

    I am sorry you guys drive rust buckets. I don't and I live in an area which receives upward of 80 inches a year in rain, and I am on a salt water canal just 200 yards from a bay which leads to the Gulf of Mexico. Perhaps if you lads and lasses washed them more often and tossed in a little elbow grease with a touch of wax, they'd hold up longer...then again, perhaps if your engineers (the same ones who brought you Lucas), took into consideration you live in the land of Bogs and Peat, they would figure out how to make a fine motor car not rust out. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  5. #5
    rob marshall

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Quote Originally Posted by MiniChris View Post
    Oooh, you've hit a bit of a raw nerve, now...

    I've had my (as Rob would put it, "BMW knockoff") Mini for 7 years and 93,000 miles. There is not one spec of rust anywhere on it, including under the trim pieces and the rubber moldings. It still gets 30mpg on the highway, 23 in town and will do 0-60 in 5.6 seconds with a top speed (well, as fast as I've had it) of 130 mph (not kilometers) effortlessly.

    I've owned six all British automobiles and all of them tried to rust out from beneath me, with the Minis holding up the longest, the Sprites and MG's the least time. For a country forever steeped in soggy, melting rain, you'd of thought they could have gotten undercoating down to a science without the overly arrogant German engineers having to show them how...

    I am sorry you guys drive rust buckets. I don't and I live in an area which receives upward of 80 inches a year in rain, and I am on a salt water canal just 200 yards from a bay which leads to the Gulf of Mexico. Perhaps if you lads and lasses washed them more often and tossed in a little elbow grease with a touch of wax, they'd hold up longer...then again, perhaps if your engineers (the same ones who brought you Lucas), took into consideration you live in the land of Bogs and Peat, they would figure out how to make a fine motor car not rust out. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    You know what? I'm going to let Mr Wirefox reply to this one. He's much more eloquent on the sad state of all things British...

  6. #6

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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    He'll say ugly things to me....

  7. #7

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Its Ok Rob I just placed Land of Hope and Glory on the Radiogram and turned my topless portrait of Samantha Fox over to reveal the Queen Mother. I think all this talk of rusting and lack of automotive fastidiousness is beside the point. Its all very well these vast industrialised nations looking down on our lack of severely functional design and our quaint attitude to mechanical perfection - what you have to remember is that British cars (Like the spitfire) were designed by men called Malcolm in cardigans, swilling mild and puffing on pipes. They were conceived in garden sheds and built by working class men with a massive axe to grind. I ask you what other country has constructed an aircraft, whose very sound, 70 years on can turn its often cynical and unpatriotic population into stiff upper lipped Curzonites within seconds. It is not that the Spitfire was a better aircraft than the ME109 or the P38 Mustang it was simply the fact that against all odds an aircraft built out of Aunty Hildas pots and pans and flown by public school boys was simply....well British. And so it is with cars. They have to be driven by Brits in the bogs and peat, they have to breakdown on the hard shoulder in driving hail, they have to be dirty and lived in....otherwise we would simply be European.

    I always feel that our resistance to washing our cars on a Sunday and polishing its chrome with a pair of old Y-fronts is most noble. After all you should be inside watching reruns of Dads Army or wading through 633 Squadron again. Now don't get me wrong there is a significant movement within this country who insist on Teutonic perfection, there is a movement who insist on spending six hours on their block paving with a jet washer and 3 tubes of autoglim , there is a movement who leave the plastic wrappers on their calf hide Ricaro's but that is to be resisted at all costs. I suspect we do not have to worry too much because every year the RAF send the Battle of Britain flight over and Simon perceiving the dulcet tones of a Merlin at full throttle, throws down his Chamois leather and before you know it the Triumph TR6 cannot be had for love nor money and the teutonic tyrant of automotive perfection is left for what its good at...cold hard business.

    you'd of thought they could have gotten undercoating down to a science without the overly arrogant German engineers having to show them how...
    Simply not cricket old chap

  8. #8
    rob marshall

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Quote Originally Posted by MiniChris View Post
    He'll say ugly things to me....
    That's the least of your problems. I hear the zing of the chainsaw being sharpened.

  9. #9
    rob marshall

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Steve

    That has to be the CiC post of the year, so far. Well done! That's put him in his place. Personally, I blame King George III (a German Brit). He should never have let go of the 13 colonies in 1776 (insert third world war smilie here)

    Quote Originally Posted by Wirefox View Post
    Its Ok Rob I just placed Land of Hope and Glory on the Radiogram and turned my topless portrait of Samantha Fox over to reveal the Queen Mother. I think all this talk of rusting and lack of automotive fastidiousness is beside the point. Its all very well these vast industrialised nations looking down on our lack of severely functional design and our quaint attitude to mechanical perfection - what you have to remember is that British cars (Like the spitfire) were designed by men called Malcolm in cardigans, swilling mild and puffing on pipes. They were conceived in garden sheds and built by working class men with a massive axe to grind. I ask you what other country has constructed an aircraft, whose very sound, 70 years on can turn its often cynical and unpatriotic population into stiff upper lipped Curzonites within seconds. It is not that the Spitfire was a better aircraft than the ME109 or the P38 Mustang it was simply the fact that against all odds an aircraft built out of Aunty Hildas pots and pans and flown by public school boys was simply....well British. And so it is with cars. They have to be driven by Brits in the bogs and peat, they have to breakdown on the hard shoulder in driving hail, they have to be dirty and lived in....otherwise we would simply be European.

    I always feel that our resistance to washing our cars on a Sunday and polishing its chrome with a pair of old Y-fronts is most noble. After all you should be inside watching reruns of Dads Army or wading through 633 Squadron again. Now don't get me wrong there is a significant movement within this country who insist on Teutonic perfection, there is a movement who insist on spending six hours on their block paving with a jet washer and 3 tubes of autoglim , there is a movement who leave the plastic wrappers on their calf hide Ricaro's but that is to be resisted at all costs. I suspect we do not have to worry too much because every year the RAF send the Battle of Britain flight over and Simon perceiving the dulcet tones of a Merlin at full throttle, throws down his Chamois leather and before you know it the Triumph TR6 cannot be had for love nor money and the teutonic tyrant of automotive perfection is left for what its good at...cold hard business.



    Simply not cricket old chap

  10. #10

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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    It probably was bad form to mention the teutonic minions (I worked for BergRohr for 4 years and know that bit of fun, first hand). I loved every British car I ever owned even when they were rusting out from beneath me, and the electrical was popping a fuse every fifteen seconds as I drove blissfully down a motorway except the present one - and, it is a push to call it British even though it is assembled in England and does ship from there as a British import). It simply doesn't rust...which is good. You can put the Queen mother's pic back up now.

    I think we are tit for tat on this one.

  11. #11

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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Quote Originally Posted by rob marshall View Post
    Steve

    That has to be the CiC post of the year, so far. Well done! That's put him in his place. Personally, I blame King George III (a German Brit). He should never have let go of the 13 colonies in 1776 (insert third world war smilie here)
    Well, now you've gone and opened up the can of worms again...Georgie didn't let go of the colonies; we took them away from him, forcefully, deliberately and with the same determination of your future Spitfire flyers.....tsk-tsk-tsk on how you address the colonists...we've earned our arrogance.

  12. #12

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    That has to be the CiC post of the year, so far. Well done! That's put him in his place
    [COLOR=black]"... I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend the honour of British Leyland, to ride out the storm of war, and to outlive the menace of Audi, if necessary for years, if necessary alone.

    At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of His Majesty's Government-every man of them. That is the will of Parliament and the nation.

    The British Leyland and the Aston Martin, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their hatchbacks, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength.

    Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of the BMW 5 Series and all the odious apparatus of climate control, we shall not flag or fail.

    We shall go on to the end, (or until the wheels fall off) we shall fight in Milton Keynes, we shall fight on the multi storey and Penmenmawr bypass, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the M25 , we shall defend our Hillman Imp, whatever the cost may be,
    we shall drive on the beaches
    , we shall drive on the spare ground behind Tesco, we shall drive in the fields and in the streets, we shall drive in the hills (at least the Welsh will) ; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and inundated with Toyota dealerships, then our Empire beyond the seas (Anglesey), armed and guarded by the Land Rover Defender, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World (or is that Aga), with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old Mini Cooper."

    You can put the Queen mother's pic back up now
    Thank god for that margaret Thatcher was looking a little lonely up there

    I think we are tit for tat on this one.
    Indeed I seem to remember Roosevelt said something similar to Winston.....the 'special' relationship I think its called

    Georgie didn't let go of the colonies; we took them away from him, forcefully, deliberately and with the same determination of your future Spitfire flyers
    That is exactly what we would have you believe..but we had bigger fish to fry in the East. Not much point in continuing poor relations with our farming community and as we have seen you agrarian Brits have done pretty well for yourselves, you just needed a little slack

    I am a great proponent of revisionist histories

  13. #13
    rob marshall

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Quote Originally Posted by Wirefox View Post
    I am a great proponent of revisionist histories
    Do you mind if I rephrase that?

    "I am a proponent of great revisionist histories..."

  14. #14

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    "I am a proponent of great revisionist histories..."
    I like the way you are thinking.

  15. #15

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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Well, it's gotten you through two major wars and a lot of little conflicts and there's a lot to be said for all that...are you guys as innundated with Suzukis and Hyundais as we are...pithy little bothers, they are.

  16. #16
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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    i would like to add
    what other car would be made for so long with the floor put together wrong.floor joint was wrong way around thats why the floor leaks.or the need for a rubber glove over the dizzy cap so it would still run in wet weather and that the door pockets are measure in Gordon gin bottles.and still win rallys and lets not forget that it out lived its replacement by near 8 years.the very nasty and very rusty metro

  17. #17
    rob marshall

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Quote Originally Posted by Bootsy View Post
    what other car would be made for so long with the floor put together wrong.floor joint was wrong way around thats why the floor leaks.or the need for a rubber glove over the dizzy cap so it would still run in wet weather
    A Ford from Detroit?

  18. #18

    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    the need for a rubber glove over the dizzy cap so it would still run in wet weather
    You need to change your mechanic. He didn't tell you your discombooberator had become disconnected from your whizzingthumpbanger and it will cost you 500 plus VAT did he. We used him for years

    Well, it's gotten you through two major wars and a lot of little conflicts and there's a lot to be said for all that...
    No it was Bromide in the NAAFI tea that did that...oh and Bovril

    are you guys as innundated with Suzukis and Hyundais as we are...pithy little bothers, they are.
    Yep all over the show chasing postmen, peeing on your dahlias- give me a fox terrier an day

  19. #19
    ucci's Avatar
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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris

    Hey, the War of Independance refought, the American colonists becoming revolting, a swipe at the Teutonic Knights and their business thuggery, acceptance of responsibility for British union driven vehicular manufacturing incompetence, a tirade of Welsh laments for what should have been, without choral support, two world wars refought, in your face empire building, English eccentrity extolled ... not a bad effort flowing on from the simple finding an old rusty 'drink can' in a Antipodean Seymour gutter. About the only thing missing was putting the boot into the French and having a go at the Eastern bloc. But why worry? Down here in Oz we are okay. We are now owned lock stock and barrel by the Chinese. So we can now be 'Sinical' as we drive about in our Ford Falcons, Holden Commodores or Nipponese bangers.... until they are forced off the market by cheap Chinese clunkers, which is just starting to happen We have become a province of Peking.
    Ps Who remembers Samantha Fox topless? Or was that Margaret Thatcher? The mind shudders at the thought!
    Last edited by ucci; 20th May 2011 at 11:48 PM.

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    Re: This one is for mini-Chris


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