Critique chain - post one comment two

[carregwen]

We all love to be armchair generals!

This is a critique chain. It is to enable members of all commenting ability to gain practice commenting on images which, in this case, are not in the normal forum domain. It will also enable members to see the type of comments that others make, and why. In other words, it will be a good way of learning. New members, or those who wish to improve their commenting ability, are particularly encouraged to take part.

How to take part

1. Locate the last two shots submitted by members other than yourself.
2. Post a comment for each of the shots. You can do this in one post, as long as you clearly identify which shot you are commenting on.
3. Then you post your own shot (just one) in a different post.

Guidelines

1. Do not comment on any shot, unless you are going to post one yourself and make a second comment. Isolated comments will be deleted by Mods.
2. Shots posted may be any subject/style, but they must have been taken by you.
3. Please aim to post a range of shots to give variety to the other commentators.
4. Do not post just your 'best' shots. Pick some of the bad ones too. In fact, you might want to deliberately take a bad shot and post it.
5. Give a brief description of your shot - why you took it, any special conditions etc
6. You can have as many goes as you like, but you can't comment on your own shots. So if you want two goes in a row, you will have to go further back to find shots that you have not commented on.
7. You are not allowed to comment on other members comments. Any such comments will be removed.
8. For some shots it might help to post the EXIF, as it gives commentators something else to comment on.

Some guidance notes to help you commenting.

1. Try to make your comments at least 50 words in length. Avoid textese, slang, vernacular, etc. Be careful how you choose your words.
2. You could try the sandwich technique - say something positive, something critical, something positive.
3. You can comment on style, image quality, personal appeal, composition, interest, drama/impact, emotional response, they used the wrong lens, anything at all.
4. Praise is always well-received, but for criticism to be effective it has to be backed up with sound reasoning. If you think the composition is wrong then say so, but also say why it is wrong.

[carregwen]

Blaengwnfi, South Wales. A panorama of about 4 shots stitched in CS5. I converted to BW to give it more grittiness.

[carregwen]

"Love Boat" Shot in Swansea marina. I was just taken with the vivid shapes and colours. It looks erotic, to me. EXIF data

[jiro]

"Love Boat" Shot in Swansea marina. I was just taken with the vivid shapes and colours. It looks erotic, to me. EXIF data

OK. I'll play.

This shot is nice. It has vivid colors (red as the main color), symmetry (to emphasize the design) and good texture (from the rust and faded paints). Aside from the symmetry I can't seem to focus on anything that will hold my interest longer. I'm trying to fix my attention on the large hole at the front but I'm not so sure if that's the main subject of the image. I find the lower rope unnecessary to the composition. The upper rope I think can be left in the frame as it adds content (to my taste). If this is my image I would definitely introduce a lot of sharpness and contrast on the rustier part on the bottom to denote age and strength (being at sea for a long time). If this is a part of a 3 - 5 image set (like a series of images with a good story) it will definitely be a very good shot for a documentary. As a stand alone shot I think it's not that strong.

[jiro]

This is my shot:


meeting place by jiro bau, on Flickr

While my wife and kids are taking their snacks I told them that I will just take some shots at the birds on the post. It's getting dark and I noticed that the lamp post just lit up. I thought it'd be nice to juxtapose the lamp post with the electric lines and the flock of birds. I metered the blue sky and then recomposed to take the shot.

Nikon D70, f8 at 1/125 sec on matrix metering handheld, 18-70mm lens set at 44mm.

Note: Was I able to comply with the rules on the comment and posting? Thanks.

[jiro]

Blaengwnfi, Soth Wales. A panorama of about 4 shots stitched in CS5. I converted to BW to give it more grittiness.

This is a very nice display of a fisheye image effect. Nice incorporation of the sky and the foreground. To make this image stronger, I would probably do some selective dodging and burning of certain areas. The shadow of the tree on the lower left does not add up to the whole effect so I might probably dodge it. For me I would make the center hill (or mountain) as my main subject so I'll make it lighter and with more contrast. The rest would be left as is and probably lowered in contrast to add some drama. The drama on the clouds is really nice. This has a story into it, it just need some more "contrast boost".

[carregwen]

Well done, Jiro. Top marks!

OK folks - the next commentator has to comment on Jiro's birds shot and my Love Boat shot as they are the last two in the thread, then post their own shot - a total of three separate posts - make sense?

[MiniChris]

On the Love Boat:
Erotic...eh, perhaps if you are into ... but I think the two ropes are perfect offsets to the near centered symmetry of the vessel. I very much like the way the Roman numerals pull the eye down while the bilge hole immediately sucks the eye back in an upward movement allowing the keel line to continue the eye upward to the scupper lines which pull the eye back downward again...great eye movement...there is so much going on, yet it is quite a simple shot. I say, well done.

Jiro's birds remind me immediately of Hitchcock's, The Birds, movie. That the birds on the wires are all pretty much facing the same direction builds a sense of anticipation, especially as they are counterbalanced by the non-sitters as they fly in an opposing direction. It's a fun shot.
My shot is was of those walk by's when you just see something striking and hope you can capture your first impression. This one is pretty much as it came out of the camera..with perhaps a teeny bit of cropping. I like the starkness of the blue sky against an equally stark white post and rail.

[MiniChris]

[carregwen]

OK. Next commentator comments on the shot above (the stairs) posted by Chris, and Jiro's Birds. And submits their own shot.

[ScoutR]

This is my shot:

Jiro, I really love this shot, I see the same kind of thing quite often but have never been able to get enough birds into the frame. I think you have succeeded quite well in that regard and I also like the fact that the composition includes the wires and the light standard. To my eye it is balanced and dramatic.

I'm having a problem with the sky though. Somehow it seems too blue and the clouds too white for the time of day and the fact that the lights have come on. It's also too cheerful and does not seem to fit with the melodrama of all the birds gathering in such large numbers. I am wondering if you could change the tone a bit to say a more grey colour. There are probably a number of ways to do this. I found just toning down the blue Saturation and darkening it a bit did wonders. Of course it's completely subjective and perhaps you are not even going for the same Hitchcockian melodrama that I would prefer for this type of shot.


Wendy


Disclaimer: My participation in this exercise is entirely for the reasons stated in the original post " to improve my commenting skills" I am not an expert or professionally trained artist or photographer. It's just a hobby, so bear that in mind when reading.

[ScoutR]

Hi Chris: Here is another shot that I can imagine myself taking. Everything is so pretty, and like you say the white against the blue sky is very eye catching.

There are so many elements here though and I am thinking that zoning in on any of the single elements might have worked better. For instance the plant entwined light at the top of the post against the blue sky, or moving a bit to the left in order to keep the bush at the top of the steps out of the shot and just have the railing and the pillar. I'm not even sure the steps would have to be included. There are so many options with this one, but right now to me it seems rather busy and void of a main subject.

If the suggested changes seem to radical, and this is in your heart the shot that you wanted, then I would suggest cloning out the shrub at the top of the stairs, and maybe the pillars at the top too, lightening the shadows a tad on the plants at the bottom right of the stairs and perhaps a bit of a counterclockwise adjustment - the pole looks just slightly slanted to me, but it might need some other kind of perspective adjustment, that I'm not that familiar with, it just looks a little off.

Wendy

Disclaimer: My participation in this exercise is entirely for the reasons stated in the original post " to improve my commenting skills" I am not an expert or professionally trained artist or photographer. It's just a hobby, so bear that in mind when reading.

[ScoutR]

This is my shot for critique. I was out at the farm getting eggs and noticed this cat sunning himself in the hay. The shot was taken quickly, but I'd like to be better pepared next time. Any help is appreciated.


Nikon D3000: 18-200mm: 1/200s: f16: ISO 200: 200mm

Wendy

[Sam Smith]

Chris I like the photo and the colors are great. I do find that the composition is a little to busy form me. I see a couple stand alone images with in yours. One being the hand rail from the bottom until just about the top rail, with the middle flowers being centered. You would need to recover some of the detail at the bottom of vines. Another is the lamp at the top. I think it would be nice especially the way you have captured the sky. I think the posts at the top are a distraction from the image. You did a great job of capturing and balancing the colors!

[Sam Smith]

This is my shot for critique. I was out at the farm getting eggs and noticed this cat sunning himself in the hay. The shot was taken quickly, but I'd like to be better pepared next time. Any help is appreciated.

Wendy- Good eye for what is around you. I like the composition but I think you should have been a closer to enlarge the cat some. Also the cat seems a little out of focus or fuzzy. You did a good job with the snow as I can never get it right. I find the dark area to the left a little distracting as we can see some detail and want to see what it is. Seems to me if you recomposed it camera left it would have hidden the area and the whole back ground could have been the hay. Great use of the concrete I think it is just enough to create a border at the bottom .

[Sam Smith]

Ok here is mine. I took this waiting on friends to arrive for a football game.

[Fit]

Let's see if I can get this right.

Wendy's shot of the cat in the hay loft:

What I really like: this says WARMTH which we know the cat loves, you can just tell the way it's huddled and soaking up the sun when clearly it is cold because there are no signs of snow melt. I like that the cats eyes match the warm color of the hay. Overall, the cat looks like he is reluctantly giving you permission to shoot the photo, he is a cat after all.
The image could be zoomed in just a bit and an entirely closer shot would be interesting just to play off those color balances betwee the cats eyes and the hay, but that would be a very different shot. I like that this shows a very small master of a large domain.

The rose:
I'm struggling with the focus. The flower is framed very squarely but the soft focus left me wondering if the picture was not well-focused. Eventually I caught that the focus is actually down-left on the water droplet. However, the drop is so small I'm not sure it's noticeable in the context of the picture. Perhaps there was macro potential just focused more abstractly on the lowwer third or bottom-left quarter only?

[Fit]

And here's a pic from me...

"Crooked Old Amsterdam"

This shot was done 4 years ago on vacation with a Canon S30 P&S (fairly low res by today's standards). Slightly cropped to remove extraneous space on the left. Touched up just a bit in Lightroom.
Exposure-0.41
Aperture3.2
Exposure Time1/1000 Focal Length8.6 mm
Flash- Auto, Did not fire

Click then click again to magnify.

[carregwen]

Chris

That was good, but you need to keep the shot you submit separate from your comments of the previous two because the next commentator needs to do a 'reply with quote'. I split it for you. How kind I am.

Wendy - good comments!

Next please. People shot perhaps?

[Fit]

Chris

I split it for you. How kind I am.