However, I'm not sure this would work given that it is her hand doing the dissecting. So cropping her out would leave you with a young person looking at a dead frog in a metal tray - the story would be lost. Is this a crop and does the original include a full view of the second young person?
It is a good image of young people engaged in an activity. I like it as a study in concentration and as Dave says below, you've really nailed the focus and contolled the depth of field beautifully. However, unless you are able to bring the 'second' young person back in, I wonder if it's one of those that you have to write-off as being 'nearly there'.
I find myself being more discerning now in what I keep. And I think the learning process encompasses us more critically assessing our own work. In the past I would convince myself that something was good and worth keeping, when the reality was that there was something wrong with it that no amount of PP work was going to rescue. I now try to work by the rule (not always successfully) - if I have any doubt, lose the image.
ps - Just read Dave's comment immediately below this. Lots of good ideas. But, then, he's cleverer than me!
Last edited by Donald; 3rd March 2010 at 12:29 PM. Reason: Added a ps after reading the next posting
A really good capture, with excellent focus/DoF control.
Bear in mind with these comments, I have had the opportunity to take my time and analyse the shot in detail, remembering all these things at "shutter time" is immensely difficult and many are beyond your control anyway (unless staging the shot, rather than documenting). Some can be addressed later ...
a1) I agree that the girl on the right could have been a little more in shot - 15% more image on the right hand side would probably be sufficient. Having two 'observers' would (I think) strengthen the composition, although it could be argued that would turn it from a portrait into a 'blurry dead frog' picture.
a2) As a time consuming alternative; clone out the right hand girl's head completely and fill the area below the gloved hand with more sleeve colour; the viewer could then be fooled into believing it was the subject's left hand in shot - then it does become a single portrait.
b) The text on the sweatshirt of the main girl doesn't really contribute - might be worth cloning it out. Of course, if the visible legend something complementary, that would be a different matter; e.g. "Yukon" or "Dead on time"
c) The background is quite good; not too 'busy', nor containing any bright distracting colours, however, in PP, it might be worth just a little more 'toning down' of the white glove visible on the girl behind.
d) Consider slicing 5% off the top edge, there's just a little too much ceiling I think.
e) Clone out the red spot thing visible bottom right on desk surface
I hope you find those comments constructive (as intended),
Very interesting shot, and well caught. Yes, I would have included a bit more of the person on the right, but not much more (the gloved hand looks a little 'disconnected'). Good exposure on the face - I presume some light was bouncing off the pale work-surface, which is good. I like the word 'impossible' it seems relevant somehow.
Glad you didn't show more of the frog - I'm vegetarian!
Hi Dave,]I hope you find those comments constructive (as intended),
Thx for your detailed comments and advice ! All points noted !
Oh, and thanks for your time too. )
But what you have now is a real study in concentration. I agree that you've lost the expression on the first young person's face, but I think that's outweighed by the strength of the overall impact that you've got with this.
As was already said above, it's a pity about the legend on her shirt. More work, but what about cloning out the person located in the background between the two young people and also that darker shape (a cupboard?) just at the right hand shoulder (left-hand side as we look at it) of the young person facing us.
Good one. Well done.