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Thread: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

  1. #1

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    A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    I've been wanting to do this shot for a while. I love humorous images and here is my attempt.
    Titled - I got the loose thread for you darling!
    Story, loose thread has been cut, obviously over enthusastically.

    Now I know I haven't got the best body, so please ignore that
    What in the image works and what doesn't. I feel that something is lacking, but no idea what it is.
    Composition? Background lacking something (I kept it clean and tidy deliberately, but a picture on the wall, a coathanger off the mirror perhaps?). Anything else?

    Thanks
    Graham
    I GOT THE LOOSE THREAD FOR YOU DARLING!
    A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

  2. #2

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    The only thing I would change, Graham, is your expression.

    You look too happy with the scene. I wonder if a guilty, naughty schoolboy, please forgive me, I promise it won't happen again type of expression might appear more appropriate?

  3. #3

    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    That is hysterical, Graham!


    I love the expressions on your faces and the idea is great. It’s definitely a guy thing. lol


    The only thing that bothers me (aside from your short, black socks and the fact that your cute little bum should really be in some proper fitting undies) is the vanilla wall and carpet. Perhaps something with a little more contrast? Also, do you really want to put the tripod looking up your backside instead of down on both of you?

  4. #4

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff F View Post
    The only thing I would change, Graham, is your expression.

    You look too happy with the scene. I wonder if a guilty, naughty schoolboy, please forgive me, I promise it won't happen again type of expression might appear more appropriate?
    Yup. I see what you mean. Emoting isn't my strong point, but yes the image needs it.
    I tried to get Angela (long sufferingwife) to look sly, but forgot about myself.
    Graham
    May be able to correct PS.

  5. #5

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by Viana View Post
    The only thing that bothers me (aside from your short, black socks and the fact that your cute little bum should really be in some proper fitting undies) is the vanilla wall and carpet. Perhaps something with a little more contrast? Also, do you really want to put the tripod looking up your backside instead of down on both of you?
    Like a tiled floor?
    The tripod was originally 50" (125cm) from the floor, but yes, it should have been a little higher. My main concern was getting it back enough to maintain a decent perspective (lesson learned from previous post).

    The walls? Would a picture and frame be enough? Or would it require a full patterned wallpaper? Or a generic photo backdrop (like the orange one from previous post)?

    BTW, anyone else want to try this? The best idea I had was to make a frame on the floor (painters tape) so I knew the area I had to work in. Really helped with staging. Oh yeah, gotta remember to REMOVE the tape prior to final pics (see I can learn).

    Graham

  6. #6
    Mark von Kanel's Avatar
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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    think the back of the boxers should be cut away as well

  7. #7

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark von Kanel View Post
    think the back of the boxers should be cut away as well
    I did consider that, BUT considering the amount of post processing I had to do on my visible physique, that may have been going too far.
    Plus I had to pin the trousers to my boxers to maintain some shape. No boxers would mean a lot more pain
    I did tape the trousers to my legs to give some decent drape and I now have slightly less hairy legs (double ouch).
    One other thing I did learn, my back carries a lot more excess mass (fat) than I thought. Back to the gym, much more moticated now.

    Graham

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark von Kanel View Post
    think the back of the boxers should be cut away as well
    I don't!

  9. #9

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    If you cut away the rear of the 'boxers' you really need to do the same thing with the socks. So I think I would leave things as they are.

  10. #10
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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by Colin Southern View Post
    I don't!
    Agree completely!


    I agree with the comments about the vanilla background and the perpsective. I also womder if the DOF is a little shallow - Your reflection looks soft on my iPod screen.
    Good for you being adventurous with your photos and thanks for sharing.

  11. #11
    Kris V's Avatar
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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    A real show stopper! Thanks for the giggle!

  12. #12

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    I think it's hilarious! I would raise the tripod to even out the perspective (perhaps a taller mirror as well) as you look giant in comparison to the mirror.

  13. #13

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    LOL. Excellent pic but lacks balance - back of boxers and socks must go....

    Or retake with the guy (you) at more of an angle hiding some of the bare butt.

  14. #14

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Eventually got round to redoing the backdrop (PP). May do boxers/socks but definitely floor.
    Is this an improvement for the wall compared to original?
    (Paper from craft store scanned in, PP'd as wallpaper).
    Thanks.
    Graham

    A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

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    Mark von Kanel's Avatar
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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Hi graham, im not sure why but the new background adds to the humour of the image to me, good choice!

  16. #16
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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Yes that is better!

  17. #17

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Thanks Mark and Brian.

  18. #18

    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Yes, better—but, those undies and socks are positively disconcerting.

    I just noticed there is somethig "strange" going on at the top of the mirror. Looks like part of your head or a picture on the wall?

  19. #19

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    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Viana, the bevel on the mirror is creating a reflection 'out of context'. It's the top part of my head.
    As to the undergarments, one of the steps I still have to take. Either remove or replace (extra photo required plus PP).

    I am quite amazed as how the background changes the picture to such a great extent.

    Graham

  20. #20

    Re: A picture tells a story - constructive critique on composition wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by GrahamH View Post
    Viana, the bevel on the mirror is creating a reflection 'out of context'. It's the top part of my head.
    As to the undergarments, one of the steps I still have to take. Either remove or replace (extra photo required plus PP).


    I am quite amazed as how the background changes the picture to such a great extent.


    Graham

    Ah, yes, of course, the bevel. Would you consider cloning the reflection out since it is so difficult to figure out what it is? It really popped into my eye.


    For advice on sexy, perfectly fitting undergarments for males check with one of your gay friends. Maybe Santa will bring some as well as some knee socks?


    Backgrounds always make a big difference—consider the studio backdrop vs. a live scene.

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